Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Jealousy Oh Jealousy!

Pardon for not being able to blog for the longest time...

Aside from not having the convenience to do so as before (due to my dad's tendencies to make our PC his "second home"), despite the so, so many happenings in my life I end up not thinking of a specific thing to write about. But now that my creative and rational juices are coming out of its shell, I'm taking the opportunity to bash, splash (HAHA!), and crash my drama in life.

Just for an update (para makuha niyo kung bakit ganito ang entry ko ngayon), I am officially with someone (ie, attached, may boyfriend, in a relationship, in love... whatever you call it) for more than a month now. It's been ONE HECK of a rollercoaster life for me, having BLOGGED that "I am not ready for a relationship" or "I'm doomed to be single for life" to being... umm.. yes, IN LOVE. :-)

I am VERY PROUD to say that I am in love with an absolutely GREAT guy, complete with the whole "Mr. Pringles" package. He's adorable, huggable, and what's most important, he respects me for who I am. I guess the 20-year wait was worth it because God sure didn't fail me on this guy..... Oh, and what's funny... I am in love with a puppy (well, his name in Cebuano literally means puppy. haha)

... And now we go to the jealousy part. Call me a jealous, possessive girlfriend, but there are just a few few things that just pinches my heart when I hear him talking about someone (let's just call her "Jackie"). A few reasons why:

1. Jackie can be with him more than I could (ie, proximity issues... go figure)
2. Jackie and Mr. Pringles have more things in common (they share the same passion for one certain hobby (not specifying!!)
3. Jackie belongs to Mr. Pringle's circle of friends
4. ... something about Mr. Pringle's past that haunts me til this day!
5. Mr. Pringles has the tendency to occasionally bring up Jackie in our conversations

Other LAME reasons:
1. He has more pictures of her in his palm/celphone
2. Her gifts mean a lot to him (since it's inclined to his interests)
3. SHE is just too damn special to him (in my opinion, okay?)

It's not that I don't trust my boyfriend, there are just certain things about Jackie that makes me feel insecure about myself. I know she's a great girl, and the thought that with these instances around something MIGHT come out of it just hurts. My Dr. Love is right in saying that I should not feel this way but.... GOD, it has just bothered me lately.

I already told him about my insecurities, and I know these things hurt him too. The thing is, if I tell him these things, it would come out as if I DON'T TRUST HIM. It's as if HE IS MOST LIKELY PRONE of hurting me.... (but don't worry, things are okay between me and him:D)

And now I ask... How will I push away these feelings?

HOW????????????? :-(