... I know. It's a humiliating feeling. This is definitely so not me. I just don't go gaga over a band in a night.
THIS IS BAD.
I think I'm officially a Bloomfields groupie!
Well, not that Bloomfields creates annoying music. Don't get me wrong about that! In fact, they really do play happy music! When I heard them sing, it's like I'm being brought back in an era of the Beatles (duh, they play their music). What's greater is they're actually OUR age, so I feel like I can relate to them more. :)
I guess the fact that I keep on visiting their website, google them, and tell everybody about the band makes it weirder.
And perhaps that's what makes me say I'm a groupie in the making.
I wanna go back to Metrowalk on Thursday!!!!!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Friday, September 15, 2006
A Bad Day gone Good :)
Wow. It seemed like God answered my prayers pretty fast! Little did I know that I will be getting all the answers I needed from no one else but my dad. And now I feel WAY WAY WAY better than how I did just hours ago.
I was actually not planning to tell my parents about it. It's a very personal problem and I wouldn't want them going all over me and scolding me about my attitude. Well, my loneliness was too much to be hidden. When they asked me what's wrong, I just cried and cried.
... And that's when dad started talking. Of course, I didn't escape the scolding part. He told me that I should stop thinking and acting this way, that I should get back up and focus. He also shared his experiences in his career, and his colleagues' as well. Most importantly, he told me that it's better to commit mistakes now than in the future.... Actually, my boss tells me that all the time. It's just that hearing it from my father made it more real and relative to me.
I guess the main point of his pep talk was to learn how to love your job and DEFINITELY do your best in it. I emphasized on "definitely" because one (like a certain one like me) can just say that he is trying his best whereas in fact, he really isn't. One's passion and drive to succeed and admit defeat becomes his evidence of doing his best in the work he has. I realized that it's not just proving to your boss that you're capable of doing many things. Many are capable, but only few are capable AND passionate.
For sure a lot of us new grads are on the same boat. We are still neophytes and we still got a lot to prove. You will agree with me that it's not easy. In fact, it will never be easy for us because even if we're out of the four walls we once called our classrooms, we still continue to learn. Only thing is, we're now in the real world, so there's no other way for us to prove to people that we are worth investing in (companies do invest in us... they pay us! :D) except through our actions, unlike in school where we have our grades as proof to our excellence.
And besides, whoever said that one can go straight up the top of the ladder? It's just like playing snakes and ladders. It's very hard to go up the finish line yet so easy to go back at the bottom.
So now, after tripping and falling down, I am ready to face a new challenge once again. I guess I just needed a bit of refueling. I had to go to a pitstop to energize myself and realize that it's not the end of the race yet. It will still be a long journey, AND I AM NOT GIVING UP.
To the numbers, mathematical signs, economics, and finance.... I'm ready.
:)
I was actually not planning to tell my parents about it. It's a very personal problem and I wouldn't want them going all over me and scolding me about my attitude. Well, my loneliness was too much to be hidden. When they asked me what's wrong, I just cried and cried.
... And that's when dad started talking. Of course, I didn't escape the scolding part. He told me that I should stop thinking and acting this way, that I should get back up and focus. He also shared his experiences in his career, and his colleagues' as well. Most importantly, he told me that it's better to commit mistakes now than in the future.... Actually, my boss tells me that all the time. It's just that hearing it from my father made it more real and relative to me.
I guess the main point of his pep talk was to learn how to love your job and DEFINITELY do your best in it. I emphasized on "definitely" because one (like a certain one like me) can just say that he is trying his best whereas in fact, he really isn't. One's passion and drive to succeed and admit defeat becomes his evidence of doing his best in the work he has. I realized that it's not just proving to your boss that you're capable of doing many things. Many are capable, but only few are capable AND passionate.
For sure a lot of us new grads are on the same boat. We are still neophytes and we still got a lot to prove. You will agree with me that it's not easy. In fact, it will never be easy for us because even if we're out of the four walls we once called our classrooms, we still continue to learn. Only thing is, we're now in the real world, so there's no other way for us to prove to people that we are worth investing in (companies do invest in us... they pay us! :D) except through our actions, unlike in school where we have our grades as proof to our excellence.
And besides, whoever said that one can go straight up the top of the ladder? It's just like playing snakes and ladders. It's very hard to go up the finish line yet so easy to go back at the bottom.
So now, after tripping and falling down, I am ready to face a new challenge once again. I guess I just needed a bit of refueling. I had to go to a pitstop to energize myself and realize that it's not the end of the race yet. It will still be a long journey, AND I AM NOT GIVING UP.
To the numbers, mathematical signs, economics, and finance.... I'm ready.
:)
Bad Day
From the moment I woke up, I knew that this day (September 15, 2006) wouldn't be a very good one.
And I was right.
My bad day started when I first got my top all wet upon leaving the house. I had to go back home and change because the location of the "wet spot" wasn't very nice (I'd resemble a breast-feeding mother... get it?). Because of this, I was late at work, after almost a month of being on-time.
I thought it would just be a normal day at work for me, but NO. I was bombarded by all these scary symbols and figures we refer to as numbers and mathematical signs. Back in school, I have never been a fan of Math, but I have always tolerated them. It has only been now that I have become VERY scared of numbers, especially when some analysis (e.g. finance stuff) is involved.
On top of that, things became worse when I ended up committing a mistake every 30 minutes. I wouldn't do things the right way. I forgot some things due to sleepyness. I didn't answer the phone. I miscalculated the prices. I didn't indicate a few things in my letter. I didn't finish doing my homework. To add up to my bad day, I had a pretty bad throat. My colds were also building up, which made the day "heavier".
To date, this has been the worst working day of my life. I mean, yeah, I had my other bad days at work, but I have never felt so down and lonely with the things I do. I couldn't blame anyone but me for all the mistakes. After all, I was tasked to do something and for some reason I'd end up screwing them up. My confidence level has plunged down to the bottom. It seemed as if I was an airhead in a world full of geniuses and "masters".
You know, it feels so bad when you're expected to do so much when all you could so is just a tidbit of that "so much". That's exactly how I feel now. Even if I try so hard to love what I'm doing, the fact that I just don't have enough confidence in myself pulls me down. I guess there's too much fear in me to conquer this whole new world of fish and prices because it mainly involves a lot of the things I avoided back in college (economics and finance-related matters). I believe I've exerted my best, but just seeing this best of mine to be not enough for what I'm doing fustrates me. It fustrates me to not grasp everything that I'm learning. It fustrates me to just commit so many mistakes and fall all the time. It fustrates me that I am not able to meet their standards, and that I do not love numbers the same way they do. Most of all, it fustrates me because deep inside I KNOW I CAN DO IT, it's just that I lack the confidence to do so.
No, I do not want to quit just yet. As what my friend has told me, it's too early to tell. I've only been at work for 3 months and just getting the hang of it. And besides, I believe that being in this company is good training, and in able for me to grow, I know I'll be needing a lot of training from them. But sometimes, I have to admit that I want to quit and look for a job that suits me better. Then again, I still have three more months to get back on the field and fight. Three months to know what I really want in life.
... And I'll be needing a lot of help from God.
And I was right.
My bad day started when I first got my top all wet upon leaving the house. I had to go back home and change because the location of the "wet spot" wasn't very nice (I'd resemble a breast-feeding mother... get it?). Because of this, I was late at work, after almost a month of being on-time.
I thought it would just be a normal day at work for me, but NO. I was bombarded by all these scary symbols and figures we refer to as numbers and mathematical signs. Back in school, I have never been a fan of Math, but I have always tolerated them. It has only been now that I have become VERY scared of numbers, especially when some analysis (e.g. finance stuff) is involved.
On top of that, things became worse when I ended up committing a mistake every 30 minutes. I wouldn't do things the right way. I forgot some things due to sleepyness. I didn't answer the phone. I miscalculated the prices. I didn't indicate a few things in my letter. I didn't finish doing my homework. To add up to my bad day, I had a pretty bad throat. My colds were also building up, which made the day "heavier".
To date, this has been the worst working day of my life. I mean, yeah, I had my other bad days at work, but I have never felt so down and lonely with the things I do. I couldn't blame anyone but me for all the mistakes. After all, I was tasked to do something and for some reason I'd end up screwing them up. My confidence level has plunged down to the bottom. It seemed as if I was an airhead in a world full of geniuses and "masters".
You know, it feels so bad when you're expected to do so much when all you could so is just a tidbit of that "so much". That's exactly how I feel now. Even if I try so hard to love what I'm doing, the fact that I just don't have enough confidence in myself pulls me down. I guess there's too much fear in me to conquer this whole new world of fish and prices because it mainly involves a lot of the things I avoided back in college (economics and finance-related matters). I believe I've exerted my best, but just seeing this best of mine to be not enough for what I'm doing fustrates me. It fustrates me to not grasp everything that I'm learning. It fustrates me to just commit so many mistakes and fall all the time. It fustrates me that I am not able to meet their standards, and that I do not love numbers the same way they do. Most of all, it fustrates me because deep inside I KNOW I CAN DO IT, it's just that I lack the confidence to do so.
No, I do not want to quit just yet. As what my friend has told me, it's too early to tell. I've only been at work for 3 months and just getting the hang of it. And besides, I believe that being in this company is good training, and in able for me to grow, I know I'll be needing a lot of training from them. But sometimes, I have to admit that I want to quit and look for a job that suits me better. Then again, I still have three more months to get back on the field and fight. Three months to know what I really want in life.
... And I'll be needing a lot of help from God.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Meet my "sisters"! :)
This is funny. I found from my friends' blogs a link which can identify the people you look like.
After uploading a "prettier" picture of me, I was very impressed with the results...
Look down below and see why. :)
... In fairness!! haha. I shall blog again soon for a more serious discussion. haha :)
After uploading a "prettier" picture of me, I was very impressed with the results...
Look down below and see why. :)
... In fairness!! haha. I shall blog again soon for a more serious discussion. haha :)
Monday, July 24, 2006
The Week that was & The Week that will be
I haven't been able to blog for more than a week now, since there's nothing really "significant" to blog about the past week... Perhaps except for the fact that it's been raining really hard here, and due to the oh-so unpredictable weather, I now have a pretty bad cough that led to my alto-like, un-pitchy bedroom voice.
Other "boring" stories from last week:
Oh, and another whapack! for today: My officemate and I have this habit of betting, and I end up winning most of the time. For some reason, he blurted out that when it comes to those things, I'm very lucky, but when it comes to love, luck isn't on my side anymore. And it made me think.... Diyos ko, SANA NAMAN HINDI! He definitely did not make my day. If because of that I'd end up unlucky in love, I will haunt him down and plan a "sweet" revenge. Mark my word. HAHA :) (Ouch lang talaga, in short. hehe)
Other "boring" stories from last week:
- My lunch buddies and I (the Mcdonald's Junkies) realized that for the week that was (last,last week), we ate fastfood almost everyday (thanks to Jollibee, Mcdo, & Greenwich). Because of this, we vowed to eat fastfood only on weekends, since it's quite heavy not only for our stomachs but also for our pockets to have this kind of lifestyle everyday. Imagine, just for our Chickenjoy craving, we had to walk under the drizzle (they say this is more dangerous than the cat-and-dogs type of rain) and spend 110 bucks just for a piece of Chickenjoy, spaghetti, and choco-mallow pie (... will die without dessert! hehe!). Now imagine having to spend 110 bucks for lunch everyday! haha! We also need to save up for our weekends ;) I guess this fastfood frenzy also led to my cough and colds... Damn, if Chickenjoy didn't taste so good!!!
- Found out that one of my closest friends is now employed! (Read her story @ http://lola-mo.livejournal.com) I'm so happy for my Pumpkin! She truly deserves this big break, and I know she'll do great! Hoping that all goes well for my soul sister! I hope we push through with our PCD adventure!! waahh!! can't wait for that!!! :)
- I finally got my first "real" salary (through my atm, the last one I had to encash at the bank) and it felt really good and bad! Of course, having earned for that made me proud about myself. I can actually earn money for ME! But letting go of it is a different issue. When torn between saving up and buying a pair of pants I've been eyeing on since forever, I ended up not buying them, convincing myself that I won't be using it much anyway. And besides, I guess it won't be bad setting aside that money first... Who knows, I might need it for something more important than a pair of pants. Things I learned from this... PRIORITIZE!!!
- Last Saturday was DENTIST DAY (aka DOOMSDAY), and I was scared as hell. Everytime I hear that drilling sound from their "drillers", I get goosebumps. Yet for that Saturday, there was no turning back anymore. I was scheduled for 2 fillings (2 of my molars have cavities.. eeww! But hey, we use our teeth everyday of our lives! hehe), and surprisingly, I didn't feel much pain! (although I get ready for the pain by shouting even if the pain still isn't there. hehe) :) The one at the upper portion was more "nilo" and just thinking about it makes me shiver. I guess my dentist just did a job well done for a scaredycat like me. Now I shall take really good care of my teeth from now on! hehe! :) ... And did I tell you how great it felt that I (yes, out of my hard-earned salary) paid for my dentist bill? haha. How independent of me. But unfortunately, I have an impacted tooth, which will result to a dental surgery next,next week. *goosebumps, shivers, and everything else related to this!* I hope it wouldn't be too painful!!
Oh, and another whapack! for today: My officemate and I have this habit of betting, and I end up winning most of the time. For some reason, he blurted out that when it comes to those things, I'm very lucky, but when it comes to love, luck isn't on my side anymore. And it made me think.... Diyos ko, SANA NAMAN HINDI! He definitely did not make my day. If because of that I'd end up unlucky in love, I will haunt him down and plan a "sweet" revenge. Mark my word. HAHA :) (Ouch lang talaga, in short. hehe)
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